I’ve never had a guest blogger here at The Midnight Garden, but this was too good to pass up:
Conscience the Attic Clown interviews Jeremy the Writer
By Jeremy C. Shipp
Conscience: Before we begin the interview, might I offer you a cup of Smurf tea?
Jeremy: I’m actually vegan.
C: Don’t worry. Smurf blood contains chlorophyll.
J: Oh…well. I suppose I will have a cup then. Thank you.
C: Now, let’s get down to those nitty gritty brass tacks, shall we? What’s your favorite part about being a writer?
J: I love interacting with my readers, and I love the process of writing. I love exploring the worlds and characters of my imagination. When I write, I feel a little like a shaman, allowing various spirits to possess my body for a while.
C: I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes, when I’m wearing my clown makeup, I feel like I’m someone else. Anyway, moving on. What can you tell us about your upcoming story collection, Fungus of the Heart?
J: Fungus of the Heart is a collection of stories about weird relationships. Stories about lovers, and friends, and families, and everything in between. Relationships are so powerful. The way people treat each other is the cause of so much evil in the world, and so much good.
C: A little birdie told me that you’re quite the family man. Is this true?
J: Definitely. The most important thing in my life is my family. My wife is my best friend, and I love nothing more than spending time with her.
C: And I suppose your positive relationship with your wife is the reason why you want to write a novel about a loving married couple?
J: I’ve never told anyone but my wife that I wanted to write a book like that. How did you know that?
C: You know, I’m not really sure. It just sort of popped in my mind. Maybe I’m a bit psychic.
J: Huh. Anyway, yes. Personally, I feel that happy, passionate married couples are underrepresented in fiction. There are many wonderful stories out there about single people, or about people who are falling in love, but I haven’t read very many wonderful stories about people who have been in love for a while, and are working to stay that way. And so, I want to write about an intriguing married couple who can battle evil with the best of them.
C: I look forward to that book!
J: Thank you. You know, I was somewhat apprehensive when you asked me for this interview, but things are turning out rather well.
C: What? You think just because I’m an attic clown, I can’t conduct a professional interview?
J: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—-
C: Sorry’s not going to cut it, buster! This machete’s going to cut it. And by it, I mean your spleen.
J: Please, I—-
C: I’m kidding.
C: Next question. I once read that you don’t believe people are evil. What’s up with that?
J: I believe in evil social systems. I believe in evil behaviors. I just don’t believe in inherently evil beings. I believe that people are good at heart.
C: Even attic clowns?
J: Even attic clowns.
C: Well, if I’m so good then why did I steal your face before the interview started?
J: You’ve got it all wrong, Jeremy. I’m the one who stole your face, and your identity. Now I’m going to leave you chained up here, and I’m going downstairs to eat all your peanut butter.
C: Hehe! You wouldn’t!
J: I would, and I will, and I shall.
C: Hehehehehehe! Why can’t I stop laughing?!?
J: Because your transformation is almost complete.
C: Hehehehehehehehe! You’ll pay for this!
J: No I won’t.
C: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe! My torment is hilarious!
J: I know, right?
Jeremy C. Shipp is the Bram Stoker nominated author of Cursed, Vacation, and Sheep and Wolves. His shorter tales have appeared or are forthcoming in over 50 publications, the likes of Cemetery Dance, ChiZine, Apex Magazine, Pseudopod, and Rosebud. While preparing for the forthcoming collapse of civilization, Jeremy enjoys living in Southern California in a moderately haunted Victorian farmhouse with his wife, Lisa, and their legion of yard gnomes. Feel free to visit his online home at jeremycshipp.com.