saw my therapist yesterday afternoon

Filled her in on everything that had been happening since I had seen her last – this time in January. We started with the usual, “When you were here last, etc, etc. So what’s going on in your life now?” I said, “Well, I can give you the Reader’s Digest version, or I can take up a two or three hour slot.” I thought the poor woman was going to fall over. I told her, “Remind me how I was doing all this without the Prozac and Trazadone, because I just don’t know.”

I told her to add the Hydrochlorothiazide to my medications list, and we discussed further medications for me. I left with a prescription for Propranolol. It’s a beta blocker used to lower blood pressure – but it’s also used for anxiety and migraines. Three in one fell swoop!

I told her that Thomas has to move out this week – Ralph is coming for his things later this week, and he’ll be moving in with a friend of his later this week. Has disaster written all over it*, but there’s nothing I can do. So, she said to wait until he’s been gone at least one week and then call Adult Protective Services. She said that would open up the door to a ton of things he needs, including state guardianship. We both agree that if he has a state appointed guardian that will make him a more viable candidate for housing, too.

Needless to say, with everything, I took my whole hour. She told me that I can always come back whenever I want, but we both agreed that probably going back this time in April would be ideal – I can update her on Thomas moving out, I’ll have my MRI results, etc, etc. After that, depending on how I’m doing, I may drop down to seeing her once every two months. Before I left, she said, “Let me give you a hug. You need one, and I need to hug you. You’ve been through it.”

That clinic is the shits. It’s a really crappy place. But my therapist takes great care of me – or I’d hold my breath and, while I have that medical financial aid, take the plunge and transfer to UK psychiatry. I keep pondering that. I may do that, anyway. We’ll see.

*one of my friends from college was over earlier. our new neighbor (across the breezeway) came over for some nails to hang up some pictures. and i said, “remind me again how old you are?” and he laughed and said, “i’m still only 21.” i asked my friend, “after talking to neil here, would you believe that he and thomas were the same age?” she shook her head and said, “not in a million years.”