i’m a pitiful blogger

Here I’ve made a strong effort to get my ass back into blogging regularly. I’ve made a strong effort to keep up with NYNY. I try to keep up with the good news and the bad news. I’ve been busy trying to bring new stuff into the apartment – inexpensive stuff to help decorate and organize. I’ve been busy trying to get this website organized (it’s a wreck!). I’ve gotten back on a regular cleaning schedule, somewhat; it’s not as perfect as I’d like for it to be, but I’m getting there.

But I keep feeling like I keep falling flat on my ass – or flat on my face (depending upon the direction of the fall, of course!). I feel like a horse clomping toward a dangling carrot. It’s gotten to the point of taking one step forward and sliding three back.

And while I’m writing this, I’m hearing my own words, words I’ve crammed down my Gwyddon students’ throats for sixteen years, come back to bite me on the ass. Why do you keep throwing roadblocks in your way? You put them there. Get rid of them. Move on. And I answer myself back, “But it’s so hard!” After that? Well, then it’s total beat my head on the table time. Wailing, “I know better!” doesn’t fix anything, either. Neither does sitting here staring at the computer like a complete idiot. I mean, I’ve not gotten to the point of having drool drain down my chin. Yet. But still…

In Gwyddonics, we have a way of breaking down problems that allows us to find the straightest path to the best solution. It involves paper and pencil. At least to start, no metaphysical knowledge required. What is is a good understanding of the situation, how you feel about it, what you can do about it on your own, and what you can do with metaphysical help for the best outcome. So, I’ve been sitting here between thoughts and between paragraphs, writing down my table and filling in the lists with the necessary information. Next, I can either sit here and stare at this and read it over and over ad nauseum, or I can get off my ass and get the work started.

I’ve got to get off my ass, anyway. The management office is holding a party of sorts in the new clubhouse, and I need to go over there and pick up mine and Preston’s access cards so we can start using the new clubhouse and the new fitness center. While I’m gone, I’m leaving the notes I wrote beneath my (unlit) St Jude candle and will get down to the real nitty-gritty when I get back home.