i need a hysterectomy

And most of you are probably looking at that and thinking, “Duh, we know you and know that.” But here’s what you don’t know. I’m pasting in a note I sent around via e-mail and Facebook, and please excuse the lack of caps use. As I stated in the note, I hesitated to start another ChipIn, but I did it anyway; the link is at the bottom. Also, if you’d like to copy my widget to your website, please use this link. (by the way, Preston said my note sounded pitiful lol)

i called robin, the surgeon’s nurse, back *again* this morning because i’d never heard from her. she called me about half an hour ago and said that the clinic can’t schedule my hysterectomy until i pay a deposit. (i have medical financial aid through UK because i don’t qualify for medicaid and preston couldn’t ever afford to add me to his insurance) she said the medical aid office should have called me, and i told her that this is the first time i’d heard from anybody since connie called me on the tenth. she told me who to call and gave me the direct number.

i called and left a message, which seems to be what my life is made of any more – leaving messages.

shannon called me back, and we talked, and she said she hadn’t even received my paperwork until half an hour before. i checked the call log on my phone – that would have been when i talked to robin and around the time i left the message for shannon. anyway, shannon pulled up my records and said that i have to pay a $470 deposit. we discussed that and when my aid expires, and she told me to keep her number, etc, etc.

so i’ve sat here and absolutely bawled and have given myself a killer headache in the process, of course. i have no idea where we’re going to find $470.

i did that chip-in thing for my new computer last month so i’m very hesitant to turn around and start another one for something that’s this serious.

any suggestions, advice, help any of y’all can give me/us would be a blessing. otherwise, the way things looks, this is something i’m just going to be stuck with for the rest of my life. i just want to sit and scream.


eta 5/22/2012:

I realized as I was getting ready for bed last night that a lot of you probably aren’t privy to my medical history and what all this hysterectomy actually entails and how far back my problems go.

As for how far back, this is something I’ve been dealing with since I was thirteen. I’ve been begging for a hysterectomy since I was twenty and had Thomas. No one was ever willing to give me one (for a host of reasons that belong in their own post, which I swear I’m going to write one day (along with about my c-section with Tayler).

Until last year in February when I met the OB/GYN I have now. She told me point blank, “It needs to come out and has needed to come out.” But I was bleeding all over her exam room, and she fitted me with a Mirena hoping that would at least give me some temporary relief. I blogged about all of that in three posts last year. The first one is rather graphic, so if you have a squicky stomach, it’s probably best if you just skip it.

The links below will open in a new window/tab. And as you can see, that last link is no longer relevant. We thought the Mirena was doing its job, but it failed around my birthday this year in February. It’s still in place; it’s just not working. The plan is to remove it along with my uterus when I have surgery.