From my friend Rain Adkins:
TOP 10 THINGS MARI COULD DO WITH HER UTERUS:
10. Get ALL the pieces and pound a tiny stake thru each.
9. Reassemble the parts and get the whole thing bronzed.
8. Mail a piece to everyone who kept you from getting the surgery, with taunts written on the boxes.
7. Mail the whole thing to Mitch “The Misogynator” McConnell,telling him what he can do with it.
6. Buy a spud gun; take it and the reassembled organ to a skeet shoot. Wait till someone shouts “Pull!”
5. Bury the pieces far from home and plant brambles so the fucker can’t rise again.
4. Offer the rebuilt item on eBay for $10,000 because, face it, someone somewhere will bite.
3. Have a party; invite people you hate. Serve canapes. Make sure they ask for the recipe, then point and laugh.
2.Feed the carp.
AND THE #1 THING TO DO WITH IT:
1. Two words: Viking funeral.