because it needs to be said …

… before my head explodes …

… I took for granted, all the times
That I thought we’d last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I cant get near you now …

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you …

[from Right Here Waiting, by Bryan Adams]

throw away

Tonight I threw away a piece of my past. It was sad in a way, but some things you can’t hang on to forever. But I threw out a lot of good times and good memories – and some bad ones; you know, there’s always rough spots.

See, when I lived in Harlan with Preston, radio wasn’t all that good – unless we were right downtown in Harlan, we couldn’t pick up the local rock station all that well, and forget about picking up anything from Knoxville or Corbin. So, we relied on cassette tapes and compact discs, more so on cassettes (cds weren’t such “big things” yet in 1995, not there; myself, I didn’t own a cd player until just before we moved here in May 1999).

But since we moved, and particularly lately, we’ve worked to replace our cassettes with cd’s (I have very few cassettes left now), especially the “mixed tapes”. Sometimes, like tonight, it involves much searching and asking, “Do we have [insert song title] anywhere?”

Tonight I threw away one of our “car tapes”. This one was titled, appropriately enough, “Roadtrip Tape”. We did a lot of driving to Lexington, Cincinnati (day trips), Richmond, and now and then to Knoxville. Plus, when we picked up the boys, it was a three hour drive each direction. Driving in Kentucky is an adventure anyway, but when you combine long commutes with back roads (and backcountry interstates), things get “interesting”. Okay. Boring! They get boring.

Roadtrips without music sucks! And in some places around here, you just can’t pick up any radio at all – and I refuse to listen to country – so, you make a mixed tape and roll. Or at least, that’s what we did. Given that a trip from Harlan to Lexington is 2.5-3 hours (depending) one way, we’d take along two or three ninety minute tapes. Sometimes we’d even remember to turn the radio on once we got into range (that was back when DoubleQ was still on 98.1FM)! 😉

The cassette I tossed had great songs on it like Big Empty, Locomotive Breath, Heavy Metal (Taking a Ride), Burnin’ for You, Under the Bridge. Yeah, we’re pretty eclectic! 😀 But still, plenty of good memories there. :sigh:

I have to hand it to TDK. I probably made this cassette in late 1995 or some time in 1996. Preston and I were wondering tonight if it even still worked. It did. Perfectly. I figured as many times as we listened to it in the car (even around Harlan County), it would’ve been worn out. Too, gods know how long it sat on the shelf without being played.

… Frustrated, Incorporated
Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need …

… Put me out of my misery
All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery …

[from Misery, by Soul Asylum]

valentine interlude …

for my husband, my lover, my best friend …

… And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You’re all I’ve ever needed
Baby you’re the one …

[from The One, by Elton John]

… I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me …

… And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I’ll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we’re surrounded
By the comfort and protection of
The highest power.
In lonely hours.
The tears devour you …

[from Truly, Madly, Deeply, by Savage Garden]