overheard

overheard in my living room:

preston: i don’t have time. could you please make me a wrap?
me: no. i don’t know how you like yours wrapped.
preston: yo yo yo
me: but what if i made it oy oy oy?

overheard

overheard on the bus on the way home Monday:

:man hooks bicycle to front of bus, removes the high, orange flag, gets on the bus:

me: hysterical laughter, barely contained
preston: :looks at me like oh my dear god because he knew exactly what i was thinking:
me: :through the laughter: it’s the rebels, sir. they’re here.
preston: my god, man, do they want tea?
me: no, but they brought a flag.
both of us: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

overheard

overheard on my telephone:

thomas: she’s out in the living room, and he’s watching television
me: who died?
thomas: nobody died
me: then who’s funeral did she go to?
thomas: mommy, have you lost it?
me: what do you mean?
thomas: nobody went to a funeral
me: you said that’s where kathy’s gone off to
thomas: no. i said she’s out in the living room. i never said anybody’d gone to no funeral.

overheard

Overheard on my telephone on June 4th:

Tayler yelling across Kathy’s house: Yes, I drink Mt Dew, but it lowers your sperm count!!
Kathy yelling back: Drink more!

overheard

:spew warning: put down all food and drink

So last night I was talking to Thomas on the phone, and he was doing his best to get me to tell him what Kathy had sent him and Tayler for Christmas. He was doing the whole 20 questions thing, most of which I refused to answer. 😉 I just kept telling him, “I want it if you don’t like it.” Then he asked, “But what does it do? Is it a toy?” I said, “Well, some people might consider it a toy. But it’s a very fragile toy.” “What is it?” “Thomas.” “[short string of questions]” “Well, it’s something you can use.” He got quiet. Then he giggled and said, “It’s not a vibrator is it?” :warped: